A transição--Buenos Aires e Minas Gerais

Last week I was in Buenos Aires, Argentina, traveling around, exploring a new city and breathing in a completely new culture.

Now I am back in Brazil, in the Southeastern state of Minas Gerais, which is known for cheese, doce de leite, romeo&juliet (my fave brazilian dessert, goiabada and cheese!) and of course, its mineral waters. I can't believe I'm here. Everything happened so quickly. I swear, it seemed like yesterday I was planning my trip to Buenos Aires!

Buenos Aires was amazing...I mean what makes an unforgettable trip is the friends you travel with. I traveled with Cat and Michel (my brazilian mentor) and it was just the perfect combination. We toured the Casa Rosa, explored the famous El Caminhito and ate lots of alfajores!! My Spanish was absolutely awful...I have no idea what I'm going to do when I go to Ecuador.

The one day that I won't forget and definitely was one of the highlights of the trip for me was this one day when Cat and I woke up almost noon...I was dead tired cos I'd been staying up late writing my paper (yes, I did work in Buenos Aires!!) and Cat had been staying out late. We woke up to find a new roommate in our hostel room. This new roommate was a 42 year old millionaire (granted in brazilian reais, but nevertheless, a wealthy man) who was a retired military captain and intends to ride his motorcycle from Brazil up to north america...who knows if he'll succeed. He'd come to Buenos Aires to go shopping cos everything is a lot cheaper in Argentina. Anyways, we had lunch with him at this awful Chinese buffet style restaurant. The only good thing about it was that I found this delicious bread that I'd love to eat as a child...ooh, que saudades! Then after we returned to the hostel, we didn't want to hang around this old guy, who was being kind of needy...accompanying us to the pharmacy and etc. so we snuck out of the hostel, careful to avoid him.

From then on, our night was amazing. Even though Cat was a bit sick, we still managed to tour the streets of Buenos Aires: watching street tango shows, listening to street music, shopping in stores and the street venders. BS AS is a great city (besides ALMOST getting robbed, I loved every part of it!) Then we ate dinner and had coffee at this wonderful diner-esque restaurant. We drank our alcoholic coffees (she had her first Irish coffee and I had a calipso) and talked till 1AM. Era muito gostoso...nossa! It was delicious; the coffee, the cookies and the conversation. It was one of my favorite nights there.

Now I'm in Minas Gerais, residing with the family of my brazilian mentor, who has become more of a friend now. At first it was just really awkward...I had no idea what to say, how to act or what to do in front of his family...but after a day here, I think I am adjusting pretty well and getting along with all the family members. When I say family members, I mean that on the first day here, I met everyone--from the grandma to the young cousins! It's amazing how close his family is! Seeing all of his family really made me miss my family.

Minas Gerais--or more specifically, Pouso Alegre, a town in MG, is really different from Florianópolis (where I attended university for the past 5 months). It's less developed and the inequality between the rich and the poor is much more visible. There are much more shanty houses, which look like favelas, but really they're just poorer neighborhoods. It's a much more real version of Brazil...a lot more diverse. In Florianóplis, a much more developed city, the population is more of a European descent. While in Pouso Alegre, or in MG in general, the population is much more mixed. Furthermore, since Pouso Alegre is not a touristy town, I am probably one of the only native English speakers for miles away. This will be good for my Português! I don't have any other option but to speak Português!

Tomorrow, I'm going to my mentor's family's farm! I'm really excited because I haven't been to a real Brazilian farm yet! I may even get to milk a cow! Other than that, I'm looking forward to finally being able to relax and to write in my journal. I just need to sit and reflect for a while. It's been a tumultuous December.

I can hardly believe that it's been almost 6 months since I've been away from my family, friends and my dear country. (hah, a bit of sarcasm on the last item-- I said that because I just finished, TODAY, my 16 page paper on the role of the U.S. in the military coup in Brazil in 1964...that was a bitch to write!) Anyway, it's almost surreal that I've been in Brazil for so long...I can't help but wonder how much I've changed and grown up. We'll see...

dezembro: o fim e o começo

shutthefuckupouttahere. how is it december already? sorry, what a way to start an entry, right?! haha. I´m beside myself...how is it that it´s december? it just seemed like yesterday when I was still laptop-less and walking aimlessly around the streets trying to figure out where Comper was. Luckily, Comper is always easy to find.

Well, it is December, whether I like it or not. And it brings up a whole mix of emotions. I went to Kine´s (from Norway) festa de despedida/goodbye party on Tuesday...now she´s off traveling South America. I may never see her again... and it´ll be like that for a lot of the other exchange students that I´ve met here. As sad as it all is, I´m actually looking forward to moving on, exploring new places and meeting new people. It´s all a part of that re-newing process. And next semester, there will be a new group of exchange students...and new friends, new parties and most importantly, new experiences.

Since I´ve last updated my blog, a lot has happened: my Brazilian friend´s boob job. drinking with classmates after class. Thanksgiving. work. grades. beaches. Megan!!! receiving the skirt! host family drama...that´s all I can think of for now...unfortunately, I can´t write about all this...so let me just give some brief highlights :)

- My Brazilian friend S. had breast implants about a month ago...and she came to class, uber perky. I was in shock because it seemed so normal for girls to have breast implants...I personally didn´t know anyone else before her that´s had breast implants. hah, but I am in Brazil, the land of plastic surgery! Then two weeks later, we were at a bus stop, after a night at the bar. And somehow we were talking about her surgery, and she goes to me and my friend, Brenna, "do you girls wanna touch them?" and we´re like...uh.. this is awkward...but that´s S.´s personality, super open and friendly. So she undid her shirt before we could even respond, and BAM, there her breasts were, in full glory. Luckily, it was late and nobody was around but us to see them. I gotta say, it looked real. Then she encouraged us to feel it...and man, it felt really weird. To me, it didnt feel natural, but who am I to judge? the only boobs I´ve really felt are my own. haha! Just as we were feeling her up, a garbage truck passes by and all the men were howling at us cos we were feeling up another girl haha, good timing.

- Thanksgiving in Brazil. We had beer chicken, mashed potatoes, apple and pumpkin pie, corn on the cob, squash and salad...it was a good dinner indeed. Of course we also had caipriosky´s and beer. my first drunken thanksgiving! of course, that made all the food taste better...and plus we were all starving waiting for the chicken to be ready.

- Megan Mischler, who we studied portuguese with, came to visit from Montevideo! It was really good seeing her and showing her around Floripa! I´m so glad that this weekend we were able to go to the beach! Sunburned? yep. On her last day here, we ate at a seafood restaurant, (frutas do mar!!) and it was POURING! like thunder, lightening and heavy rain! Patrick and I arrived to the restaurant soaked. But other than that factor of being wet and uncomfortable, the food was so good! We had a sequencia de camarão, which is like this chain of dishes with shrimp, rice, and fried fish. soo good!

- In regards to the host family, let´s just say I don´t intend on living with one next semester. It is stressful shit. Let´s just say I have a "ruined" pie pan now. You can bet that next semester, I´ll be making pies!

- I finally have the skirt! I was so worried that it got lost in the mail, but it didn´t! It just took 1 month to get here from Ecuador! So now I have one more excuse to go wild in Latin America: I need to win. (that´s just the competitive spirit talking) For the next five weeks, I´ll be the 4-inch heel wearing, thong parading, fence-climbing, hooking-up vixen in a pink traveling skirt. oh, I forgot, and topless. (haha jk!)

btw, I´m in love with the journal. I´ll be writing in it lots for you girls to read :)

Stripper in the haus!!!

This past weekend, I went to a house warming party. It was for the son and his girlfriend of my host family...they were officially becoming the "donos da casa"/head of the house! And so the girlfriend, Flávia threw a housewarming party and invited all her girlfriends and gay friends. And apparently, Brazilian style house warming parties come with a stripper! Her friends contracted a stripper for her and her other friend, Tammy who also just moved into a new house. It was a great party, we had a few drinks and the next thing you know, the stripper sneaks into the house, cape and all, and before you know it, he was giving lap dances and taking off his clothes...Here are some scandalous photos to color your imaginations:


Stripper, fully clothed.


And the shirt comes off...


and yeah, the pants come off too...everything but the underwear...not that you can tell from this photo...
(position #14, T.? or Has A. already done it? lol!!)

I have more photos but the internet is too slow...

And what was the most exciting thing for me? They played Lady Gaga!!! oh it was so good to hear American music at a party!! But yeah, the stripper was pretty good too! Also, I'm pretty sure he was gay...he was making eyes at this guy at the party. And geezus Christ, this guy was so well built! There were muscles on top of his muscles...!

I can't wait till my friends and I are old enough to have house warming parties. Totally getting you guys a stripper; just saying.

e assim por diante

Lately, I haven't been able to get my mind off of all the work that I have to do. But at the same time, I don't make a huge effort to clear my work load. Meaning, I watch like 3 episodes of the Simpsons or the Office...then eat...then read the news, facebook, skype etc. then I always make up an excuse to not get started on my essays and just put it off to the next day. Best line of thinking "I'll be more productive tomorrow." FAIL. haha! We'll I've done about 5 days of that. And there isn't any more time to push it off. So, here I go, turning my brain on by writing a blog entry...then ease my way into writing an academic essay in Portuguese. Genius, isn't it?!

And here I go...estou ligando minha mente em português.

wait. that is after I chat with Thao on gchat for a bit...haha!

Novidades

Just a few updates:
- Last weekend, I went to a costume party...and hands down, it was the most enjoyable party that I've been to in Brasil. I mean, it has to do more with people than the actual party. and all it takes is just one person... I was dressed as a gypsy and Cat was dressed as Cleopatra!



- I have a new favorite place in Florianópolis--the ecological park in Córrego Grande...it's amazing and I love jogging there! I went jogging with Patrick yesterday and it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen...he was jogging with one hand in his pocket to secure his iPod and using his other arm to pump for energy...guess those cigarettes really got to him..haha!



- So November is going to be a shit-show month. I have so much work to do because as usual, I've put it off...and plus the professors just started cramping down on homework as well cos the end of the semester is coming!! Funny enough, according to Cat, there is no word in Portuguese for Procrastination...only postpone...how funny! perhaps procrastination doesn't exist in Brasil...only "starting your work late" (a.k.a partying too much).

- Our little midd group has become a fun group! Yesterday, we all went out to eat at an Arabic restaurant and it was so much fun! I love how we're all building our inside jokes and just playing with the duality of our language abilities! Last Thursday we went to a Mexican restaurant, just us girls because Patrick was in Buenos Aires. And it was such a great girl bonding session...which I've missed so much!

- As I was walking home yesterday, I just felt so happy and appreciative to be here in Brasil. I admit it was really rough in the beginning, but life is good now. I just wanted to take some time out now to reflect how incredible my past 3 months here have been. I've matured, gained 10 pounds and can speak português mais ou menos now. and there's only more to come. This is just the beginning for me in terms of the bigger picture. wow, it's so hard to believe because it feels like it's been so much longer!

Swarthmore

In my senior year of high school, I dreamed of going to Swarthmore. When I visited the campus, I was completely enamored by the small college, Adirondack chairs and the proximity to NYC and Philadelphia ( Philly, for a "night life"). You can imagine my disappointment when I was waitlisted. I cried and couldn't stop blaming myself for my failure. I was torn because I knew exactly WHY I didn't get in...it's because of the admissions interview that I missed in NYC with the representative who adored me...she thought I'd stiffed her, but it was an honest mistake...the email she sent me went straight to my SPAM box and I never got the time or date of the interview. é foi uma foda!

Then I got into Middlebury. Middlebury was the last school that I heard from. I remember the exact moment I checked online. I was at SEO after some programming event. It had been a long day and a dull meeting about how to survive college. I went downstairs to the computer lab to check and I honestly never thought that I'd get in...but long behold, my acceptance letter. I was beyond thrilled...it was the only other small, liberal arts college that I applied to. Marc (my guidance counselor) predicted in November that I'd be going to Midd. I couldn't believe his prediction came true. The only drawback at that time was that Midd was too cold and a bit further than I'd expected to be away from my parents.

But I thought fuck that. Fuck Swarthmore. I'm going to Middlebury.

And I have never regretted not going to Swarthmore. Attending Middlebury has been one of the best life decisions that I've made.

Randomly, I went to swarthmore.edu to check out their Latin American studies program. Although they don't have International Studies, their Latin American studies program seems pretty interesting. But other than that, they don't offer Portuguese. Their study abroad programs are limited and seems solely geared for Buenos Aires(and ironically, the program in Chile is through Midd!)

Basically, if I went to Swarthmore, I would not be studying Portuguese (and probably be in Buenos Aires!) therefore, I would not be in Brazil. If I went to Swarthmore, I would have never fallen in love with Brazil. I would have continued to be ignorant about the inferiority of Portuguese (sorry Mariana, my first Brazilian friend in high school--we used to have debates in history class about Spanish vs. Portuguese). My life would have been so different. I could be speaking Spanish almost fluently! wow...what a reality shock.

But I went to Middlebury. I pursued Portuguese, despite all the difficulties I encountered from the shift from Spanish to Portuguese. And now I'm here, studying abroad in Brazil. All because of one email I never got. okay, I'm being dramatic, but seriously, if I'd gotten the email about the interview, went to the interview, and received my acceptance from Swarthmore, I'd never gone to Midd...! Never gone to Middlebury. now that's a scary sentence.

AND SO, in conclusion, I'm so happy with where I am in my life. I'm so grateful to be a Midd kid. I'm so grateful to have such wonderful, amazing friends in my life. you guys know who you are. <3 The greatest moments at Midd that I have experienced is with you guys.

I never ended up going to Swarthmore because Midd was a better fit for me and I would have never realized that without being waitlisted.(see, sometimes there are positive outcomes from negative events!) I mean, conversely, I'm sure there would have been other things in store for me at Swat, but I wouldn't give up what I have at Midd with my Midd friends for anything to see what could have been at Swarthmore. I hear the college is full of socially awkward nerds anyways...haha

It's so funny how you end up where you're supposed to be, without intending to in the first place. and that is why life is so beautifully complex. Life always has its plans and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings and it starts to rain. It's an intimidating thought but it's also kind of amazing. All these little parts of the machine are constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be, exactly when you're supposed to be there. (inpsired by HIMYM.)


**It's not my intention to offend any Swat student or Swat affiliates...I'm just writing to demonstrate a point and it so happens that Swarthmore had to be named.

Oktoberfest!!!

I really, honestly did not think that I would be going to Oktoberfest. But Friday, last minute, serendipitously Brenna, Patrick and I bought the last three tickets for the bus, so why not? (although because of his internship, Patrick couldn't go). Oktoberfest is held in the strongly rooted Germanic town of Blumenau in Santa Catarina-- two hours away from the city I live in. The 1920s attracted a massive influx of German immigrants because of WW1 and so till this day, the German influence is still fairly strong in the southern region of Brazil. Oktoberfest in Blumenau is the biggest celebration of German traditions outside of Germany in the world! The celebration started at the beginning of October (or Oktober, cos I can't spell properly any more...!) and yesterday (Oktober 18th) was the last day of the festivities. I went on Saturday, the second to last day--which is also the most crowded day to go. and oh boy, it was such an experience! Here are a couple of highlights:

- BEER. there was so much beer! they had chopp de vinho/ wine beer! it was so good! and whole wheat beer, which is a bit sweeter and has a distinct taste that I can't quite describe. The atmosphere was so cultural. People were dressed up in traditional German clothes. They played German music. Flags of Germany. It was amazing!

- I have never felt SO Japanese in my life...and by extension, since I am not Japanese, I have never felt SO ASIAN in my life! In the U.S., the standard Asian is Chinese; in Brazil, it is Japanese. Every where I went, people would yell "Jappa!" or "Adoro orientais!"...it was so strange! Then when men tried to hit on me, they would be like, "oh you're not Brazilian? You're American! I've never kissed a jappa or an American before."/ "vc não é brasileira? Americana! Nunca beijei uma jappa nem americana!" Right. not a pick-up line I'd recommend!

- Because of said Asian perceptions, I was bowed to by SIX people. uh, ???. Also, on another random note, an Asian-Brazilian guy came up to me, asking for a high five...for reasons not understood by me.

- I think this is by far the funniest thing I did that night. So there was a group of guys hollering at me, and for some reason, there is always one guy who absolutely adores Asians and all the others encourage him to pega/get an Asian girl whenever one passes by. So of course, I pass by this group of guys and of course I hear "olha-só, Jappa, vai, vai!"/ "look a Jappa, go, go!" and cheering on to this one guy and I'm like oh shit. and I feel him grabbing my arm but I manage to slip away. A bunch of people past by between us and I RUN! I'm like weaving through the crowd. The guy sees me running and CHASES after me! who would think a guy would work so hard to get a kiss? I turn around for half a second and see him closing in on me...yelling "jappa, jappa". but I don't give up and continue running till he throws his arms around and catches me. then I'm just like fuck. I was so close to getting away. He's laughing and asks why I was running away...and I'm like, you know, getting some exercise? duh. Then he kisses my hair with his gross beer stained lips. ugh. not surprisingly, he also wants to kiss my lips and I duck and slip away underneath him. but he still has a hold of my arm, and I'm like "não, não, tenho namorado." (what else could I say?) this guy just doesn't give up. and after 5-10 more minutes of talking to this guy, I manage to get away with Brenna. I won't lie, the best part of this experience was trying to run away from this guy in a huge crowded street--I really thought I could get away. hmf.

so many more stories, but I gotta get going, I have done absolutely no homework this weekend! but I just had to write about Oktoberfest.

A Viagem ao Foz de Iguaçu--Brasil.Argentina.Paraguai!

15 hour bus ride to spend 4 days in 3 countries. then 15 hours back to Florianópolis!!

This weekend we went to Foz de Iguaçu, one of the seven wonders of the world and to Itaipu, one of the seven wonders of the modern world (engineering feats!) which is the largest hydroelectric plant in the world!!

I've never taken a 15 hour bus ride in my life and this may be the last 15 hour bus ride I'll take (30 hours total!). The first 15 hours getting there was bearable. But coming back was awful because I was so tired from all the activities of the trip...and also, I'd been bitten by mosquitoes and ants which caused an allergic reaction so my ankles are swollen now. And god, how I wanted to scratch my legs off!! I'd always thought my body was an unstoppable machine... but now my ankles are swollen, I have about 10 bites all over my legs and my stomach is queasy from bad, cheap, bus stop wine--so I can't get out of bed. ugh. bad bus stop wine...that's another story...! So, from the beginning:

9 de outubro/10 de outubro >> departure: 6:45PM | arrival: 8:30AM
On the bus ride, Patrick and Cat were drinking cachaça (kind of like vodka, but stronger) straight up...they drank 2 liters...I have no idea how they did that! I would be so sick!!! But apparently, Cat slept well after being drunk!

After our bus ride, Lilian (our coordenadora) sends us a text message saying that we have to get to our hostel by 9AM, we have a bus ride to Argentina! So we catch a taxi and go straight to the hostel. We dump all of our stuff in the hostel, brush our teeth, change to hiking clothes and head to Argentina. There was no time to rest! So going to Argentina was pretty legit--I got a stamp on my passport! (yeah I was super excited to have the stamp on my passport!) The Argentinian side of Foz de Iguaçu is AMAZING! Breathtaking!!! I can't describe how incredible it was to be there. It's a lot bigger than the Brazilian side! We took a boat ride right up by the waterfall and got soaked! It was so much fun! We hiked all around the part to get different views of the waterfalls. Also, I've never seen so many rainbows in my life!! I even saw a double rainbow! Being in this atmosphere was just absolutely surreal...my photos look like postcards...I look photoshopped into the scenery! (I can't wait to show my mom!!) I have no idea how Cat and Patrick survived the day, they were hungover from the cachaça...coitados!

Being in Argentina was so different. I was surrounded by Spanish and English speakers--which felt so foreign to me. I was taken aback when I heard these Americans speaking in English. And I tried speaking Spanish, but royally failed...I couldn't switch out of the softness of Portuguese to the roughness of Spanish. ah, I definitely felt pangs of missing Spanish...

At night, we wanted to go out to the center, but our hostel was pretty far away and we didn't feel like taking two buses to eat dinner cos we were starving! So we ate at the hostel...omg we have never waited so long for dinner. The hostel was pretty crowded and so it took 2-3 hours for our dishes to come! It was insane!! They had a small kitchen and one cook! Poor Brenna, she had a headache and needed food to eat with her medicine and she was the second to last person to receive her meal! But honestly, 3 hours, waiting for food to cook!!! ridiculous!

11 de outubro
We went to the Brazilian side of the falls and it was so different from the Argentinian side! Whereas the Argentinian side was a close up view of the waterfalls, the Brazilian side offered a beautiful, distant panoramic view of the falls. Still, it was stunning and surreal. The Brazilian side is definitely smaller and not as eventful as there are many more hiking trails on the Argentinian side.

12 de outubro >> departure: 5:45PM | arrival: 8:00AM
Our last day of the trip before our 15 hour bus ride back to Florianópolis! We luckily had enough time to visit Itaipu!! We went on a tour of the water plant and it was refreshingly educational. Itaipu is the biggst hydro-electric plant in the world! It took 23 years to build and way too much money to construct (Brazil will be done paying for it in 2023!) It is a bi-national hydro-plant owned by Brazil and Paraguay. so we were in Paraguay for the water plant! (yeah, I know, it's not really being in Paraguay...) The control room was divided in half by an invisible line--where you could have one foot in Brazil and the other in Paraguay! So this hydroelectric plant powers uses the energy of the Paraná River to provide 90% of Paraguay's energy and 25% of Brazil's...incredible!

After the tour, we grab a bite to eat and head to the rodoviária for our bus home.

13 de outubro
At 4AM, we make a bus stop and Cat and I were the only two awake and could not sleep. She thinks it would help to drink some alcohol to get some sleep...and my sleep deprived and cranky mind also thinks it would be a good idea. I just wanted to sleep. We find cheap $7R (about $4USD) wine and drink it on the bus. I just have a cup and a half--I mean it wasn't too terrible, but it wasn't great either. Man, it was hilarious--Cat drank two cups and went to sleep! And after my drink, I did too. I woke up with the worst stomach pain. And the aftertaste of the wine that remained in my mouth made me feel so queasy. My stomach was definitely not happy. The bug bites on my swollen ankle made it difficult to walk. And I'd also gotten my period. As you can imagine, this was possibly the worst situation to be in. I somehow manage to lug my duffle bag up my hill to my house. And showered, almost doubled over because the sharp pain in my stomach would not permit me to stand up straight...oh boy, it was awful.

So I've just been resting in bed all day, watching movies, falling asleep in and out of the movies. I've been burping up the wine and shit, it taste like, well, crap.

Other than these misfortunes, the trip was fun. Us Midd kids got to bond and get to know each other better...and it's definitely been an unforgettable trip.

Rio 2016

Estou demais empolgada para isso! Que incrível que finalmente uma cidade de America do Sul ganhou!! Ótimo!! Tenho muito orgulho...muito mais que deveria ter porque os EUA perdimos...

Seriamente, o Brasil vai desenvolver e crescer por causa disso. E aí mãe, como eu disse pra você, vale a pena para estudar Português!

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Basically, go Rio!

Costa da Lagoa

This past weekend was pretty tranquila! On Friday, I went to Floripa Shopping with Michel and Natalie and we ate Chinese food!!! Yeah, it was my first Chinese meal in Brasil! It wasn't too bad, but it did leave me craving for my mom's food! On Saturday, I was invited to Claúdia's house to have mandioca. It's kind of like a potato, but not...and the way she made it was like a puree...it was good. Solomon (from Ghana) brought this spicy sauce which was so delicious with the mandioca. On Sunday, I did my first hike in Floripa! (first legit hike that is...I mean I also hiked barefoot nearby praia joaquina--painful!) I went with Kine (from Norway) and Sarah (from Canada) and we hiked nearby the coast of Lagoa...and it was so muddy. I fell (of course I would fall...) and I found a bug in my sandwich. but it was all so natural and beautiful. It was so worth it. I thought a lot about life--making mistakes--whether mistakes exist or not; making wrong decisions and etc. But also, I was just concentrating a lot on trying not to fall.






Muddy shoes!!

e ela caiu.

I was on my way to the Shopping Iguatemi to do some grocery shopping when I decided to make a detour and stop in the library lab to write, reflect and perhaps even feel better. This week has been hard. It is reminiscent of my first week here...lonely, tiring and disorganized. I could have gone to Curitiba with Patriki and all of the students that live in his building, but I decided against that because I just wasnt in the mood to travel. I could have also gone to Foz de Iguaçu with Fishman and other foreigners but what's the point when I'll be going in October with Lilian and besides midd will be paying for it...

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I really don't understand myself. I want to go out, meet new people and have fun but it feels like something is inhibiting me from doing this. I want to make more brazilian friends and improve my portuguese. I want to be happy. But somehow this week, all I want to do is listen to American music, watch the Simpsons and read. I feel so anti-social. I feel so incapable of making new friends. I feel so bitter about it all. I miss my friends. I miss my family. and geezus christ, I am holding back tears as I'm typing this...so pathetic. I don't know why I am having such a hard time. I'm so tired of reaching out to people and not receiving anything back. I just want somebody to ask me if I'm okay and to see how I'm doing. I'm kind of sad...(I think my host mom suspects this...as I was leaving the house she asked me if I was okay and had a worried look on her face...but who knows?) I don't get sad very easily, which is why I don't know how to deal with this right now...besides writing.

Yesterday I went for a jog, hoping that it was just the lack of exercise that was effin' up my body, but I only ended up with a swollen foot...I really have no idea why. I felt good during the jog and so afterwards, I attempted to hang out last night with Sarah and some friends of hers, but that just didnt work out.

Okay, I never really broadcast my feelings like this, so I'm just going to submit this post before I change my mind.

Que Coisas, expectativas!

Este fim de semana eu aprendi uma coisa importante sobre a vida— a vida nunca vai virar como você acha. Este fim de semana foi o perfeito exemplo mostrando isso. Foi muito óbvio e tão clássico.

Na sexta-feira, teve uma banda se chama “The RU” (é uma banda local da UFSC) que “deveria ser muito bom”. O CCE esteve fazendo essa festa/show. Então estive muito empolgada pra presenciar a festa! Quando eu cheguei, eu só respirava maconha e também a música foi demais alta. Não gostei da festa muito...mas foi uma experiência interessante. A banda foi cantando uma mescla da música brasileira e americana. (também não têm um sotaque bom haha!)

Fui demais empolgada pra sábado porque meu amigo esteve fazendo uma festa na casa dele. Ele mora numa república com 5 outros brasileiros. (Ele é americano). Esta festa seria muito legal. Também eu fui informada que teria churrasco também! Que bom, né? Churrasco, amigos e um bom dia! Cat e eu encontramos e fomos perdidas indo lá. Por duas horas nós fomos procurando pra essa casa! Mas nós não desistimos porque no final, vamos ter churrasco! Vamos comer coração de frango! Vamos beber cervejinhas! Seria legal! Graças de deus que um brasileiro nos viu que nós estivemos perdidas e nos ajudou! Finalmente, depois de duas horas de procurando, estivemos com fome e sede...nós chegamos! O que aconteceu?

Onde está a comida? Vamos comer agora!

Que? Não temos comida. Só cerveja e outras bebidas! Mas temos uma banda ao vivo logo!

Realmente, não teve churrasco. Só cerveja e gummy (suco com vodka). Que vergonha. Nós não comemos quase nada por o dia inteiro, esperando para o churrasco! Então nós bebemos. muito. haha!

E domingo. Hoje. Tivemos planos pra fazer sand board numa praia...Acordei cedo, fui muito empolgada também. Talvez hoje os planos vão dar certo! Vamos sand board! Eu falei com meu pai brasileiro sobre isso e ele foi empolgado pra mim também. Que legal! Eu nunca fiz sand board e não sei quase nada sobre isso esporte. Mas fui disponível para aprender! A primeira coisa: a Angela organizou para um ônibus privada para nos leva. Legal! Também tem outros estudantes que vão conosco! O dia é melhor. E o dia estava ótimo. Melhor ainda!
Nós chegamos e não fizemos sand board. Aparentemente, o motorista esteve confuso e nos levou para outro local—outra praia! Em vez disso, fizemos uma trilha que foi muito legal.

A lição desse fim de semana...não ter expectativas pra fins de semanas porque eles sempre mudam!

Minha primeira peça brasileira

I went to my first Brazilian play tonight! It was a comedy called A Farsa do Advogado Pathelin and I surprisingly understood a lot of it! I didn't expect to understand the least bit of the play...and I came out understanding more than half of it!! (low expectations ROCK!) I went with my padrinho, Michel who is really cool and super knowledgeable! I'm really grateful to have him as a padrinho cos he's been so helpful.

The beer party last night wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. There were A LOT of people there! For the first hour or so, Brenna and I were looking for the rest of the group because we got separated ordering drinks. I had vodka and maracuja juice--which was okay but strong. They played all sorts of weird music--from Jeannie Ortega (yeah, who knew Brazilians liked Jeannie Ortega) to classic samba music...anyway, it was just supremely crowded. More guys than girls...so there were definitely a lot of stares at us. Apparently there was a guy following me...how creepy! So we somehow all met up and just chatted for a while. This Brazilian girl we met showed me an "alternative" bathroom--which was peeing by the side of a building...yeah, not for me. She was so drunk that she didn't even care! I wasn't that drunk...! I actually haven't been super drunk since probably at Midd...

I don't know what to think of the party scene here at UFSC...but it's definitely nothing like at Midd. I don't feel as safe being drunk here because the fact is that I could be in some serious trouble for being belligerent. and that's a risk I don't want to take.

So it's Friday night. I'm going to watch the Simpsons, have snacks and go to sleep. and I'm perfectly content with this.

cafezinho

My host parents are home!!! They're back from Rio! I just had cafezinho with them and it was so great to catch up with them. I never really liked coffee before I came to Brazil. I always associated coffee as a source of energy to stay awake during finals week. But ever since I've been in Brazil, I've really been enjoying the taste of coffee. (It could also be that coffee here is a lot better.) The aroma, the aftertaste--it's such a good drink! For me, it was definitely an acquired taste...just like beer.

Speaking of beer, there's a beer party tonight...R$15 (roughly USD$7) for all you can drink beer...I'm not that into it but everyone is going, so why not?

can't sleep

Since I had to wake up at 6AM to be at the Receita de Policia Federal at 7, I was tired by noon. I took a wonderful nap, woke up and had cereal for lunch. I'm going to miss my honey nut cheerios once it's gone!! I can't believe they don't have honey nut cheerios here! I guess I'll have to find a Brazilian cereal to be nuts about. so yeah--because I took a nap in the afternoon, I'm having a hard time falling asleep. I'm so restless. I could study some Portuguese--I could write--I could read the news--but I'm just not in the mood to. I'm also worried about S. I wish I could do something to help but I'm so far away and honestly, I don't know what else to do but to hope that everything will be okay in the end. everything will be okay in the end, right?

My family seems to be doing well. I never thought I'd actually enjoy Skyping with my mom, but it's actually a lot of fun. I think the technology amuses her as well. She brushes her hair and makes sure that she's wearing a nice shirt before she video chats with me and makes a fuss that she's on camera--it's so cute, I miss my mom!!

What else? I went on Orkut to find this girl who was in my class before I dropped it when I realized that Midd probably wouldn't give me credit for a social service course...and I had no idea how Orkut works. It's supposed to be the Brazilian version of facebook, but it's so confusing to navigate...and I also discovered that it keeps track of who's been to your profile. So when I sign in, I can see a list of people that have been on my profile! yea--imagine if facebook did that...it would be the end of facebook stalking! (or maybe not. but it'd be interesting to see who's been to your profile) Anyways, I found her on Orkut--and she's my first Brazilian friend on Orkut (yay!) It'd be great to make more Brazilian friends. Speaking of Brazilian friends, I talked with Felipe and Aline (who are my padrinho's Brazilian friends) for 4 hours straight on Saturday at this pizzeria. It was so amazing! I was seriously on a high from the conversation! I think at some point Portuguese was on automatic in my brain because I didn't realize I could talk in Portuguese for 4 hours straight!

Anyways, I think I'll try to get some sleep now...it's Tuesday.

knock you down

Brazil has really knocked me down. I've encountered so many difficulties here and therefore learned so many lessons in my short three weeks here.

1) Never.Ever.EVER send electronics to Brazil--or South America in general. They tax an arm and a leg. Seriously!
**But the care package from Randy, Lisa and my mom was really sweet! So it was worth the $800. It was the most I've ever spent on Madeline's, Ramen, chips, gum, mint etc. but it really made me happy. :)

2) Don't sit on a rock with a cell phone in the back pocket. The screen will crack. true story. It's the worst feeling in the world, especially if the phone isn't even a month old. But hey, at least you have a great photo.

3) Don't flush toilet paper (papel higiênico) it may get stuck in the toilet.

4) Somehow when bacteria gets on your eyelid, you develop a tresol which is like a little bump on your eyelid...it's so weird! I have no idea how this happened.

5) Pizza can be a dessert. And it's so good!

6) Brazilian men are aggressive. Cat can attest to this! haha! But when they want you, they have this sly move where they walk by you and grab your hand "innocently". It's hilarious when it fails.

7) 7 of the top 10 hits in Brazil are by American artists. This is not the best thing when you want to find new Brazilian music. But it's great when you are nostalgic for the U.S of A.

I can't think of any more, but I'll remember to add to this list when I do. It's just been so overwhelming.


I wish I could have blogged about how exciting it was to be in Brazil...how awful my accent is...how I'm like 1 in 30 Asians here etc. but that window has passed...I'm settling in and just enjoying Brazil for what it is. I came to Brazil with a contrived image of the country and I was having a hard time adjusting, especially with all the bumps on the road. But everything happens for a reason, right? During my time without my laptop (which was like for two weeks!) I just journaled a lot and reflected till I didn't even want to listen to myself any more. I'd like to say that I know myself a little better now.

Anyways, I've been in panic mode cos I have no idea what classes to take and I have to matriculate by Friday. I haven't done any homework. Apparently, I won't have classes Thursdays and Fridays (four day weekend?!!!) and I have an internship to figure out. I have no idea how to organize my life right now. Hopefully, things will just sort themselves out.

The Final Day

Sophie leaves in the morning...she will be on her way to Quito!!! I am incredulous. It's unbelievable how quickly this summer has passed! It just seems like yesterday when we were all in DC(missing Lauren, of course!)just talking on Thao's couch and laughing till our stomachs' hurt! I can still remember the moment Sophie surprised Afsana and me by showing up in DC! I was shocked beyond belief--I definitely hugged her extra hard to make sure she was physically there...and then I poked her a couple of times to make sure it was her flesh and not my imagination haha!!

I can still remember my last night at Midd. It was so sad sleeping on that bare bed. Then in the morning, I missed my train, but that was a whole other ordeal...

Okay, now I'm just spacing out to random memories. I'm going to miss my sweet, amazing, and wonderful friends SOOO MUCH! How will I have wonderful life chats in Portuguese? I can't conjugate!!! (jk, kind of...)

Randy and Lisa surprised me last night by planning a belated birthday dinner/goodbye dinner for me. They invited Afsana and Steven to dinner and it was just so great! Randy made me an ice-cream cake with my favorite ice-cream flavors, red bean, green tea, vanilla and strawberry. It was good...but melted because apparently, the freezer wasn't cold enough to keep the ice-cream cake in shape...

Anyways, I should go and sleep. 1 day till departure!!!

Making the most of being computer-less

I cannot believe my computer is in San Diego being repaired right now when it should be at home with me and gearing up for Brazil!! Ah! I really hate being laptop-less--I feel so helpless. Oh well--this is probably a good thing that I am not on my laptop so much! I just hope that I receive my laptop before school starts in Brazil. My first day of classes is August 3rd. I have orientation starting July 30th. I leave July 23rd.
Everything.is.happening.so.so.sooo.FAST!!!

There's so many things to remember...I keep on reminding myself that I need to get myself one of those awesome Moleskin notebooks so I can write notes, to-do lists, telephone numbers, addresses, quotes and Portuguese things so that I have access to all this information. Ah!

How do I pack? Where do I start? In theory, I should already be packing, but I'm such a last minute person...and I still need to get stuff for Brazil. How is this even possible that I'm leaving in 4 days?

I've been dreaming about my study abroad experience since high school. Ever since I had my first dosage of it in Costa Rica, I knew that I would be studying abroad again in college...and here I am--about to embark on it. Granted, I thought I would be studying in a Spanish-speaking country, but really who can ever predict where a life path leads you to.

the last ride around New York

Last summer, Randy taught me how to ride the bike again. It took 1 hour in the parking lot of his building. People walking past would chuckle and cheer me on...it was kind of embarrassing! Since then, I have bicycled crazily in the streets of Tuscon and in the calm streets of Middlebury and the path towards the organic garden. On Sunday, Randy rented a tandem bicycle and we biked all along the west coast of Manhattan--and it was so beautiful! This was my first time biking on a tandem bicycle (what comes to mind is the image of Afsana and Sophie's mom synchronizing their pedaling on their tandem in Tuscon, hehee!) Anyways, it was a bit of a struggle to synchronize with Randy since he is kind of a maniac when it comes to bicycling! From the East side, we rode through the streets of Manhattan to get to the West side highway...omg imagine bicycling through NYC traffic! It was scary! Half the time I was clinging onto the handle bars for dear life and telling Randy that there was a car behind us...Luckily we made it to the bicycle lane unscathed! Once we were on the lane, it was smooth biking! The west side is so beautiful! The Hudson river is so gorgeous! We biked through some really scenic routes--I wish I had my camera to photograph some of the sights I saw. I couldn't believe I was still in New York City!


Since we were on a tandem bike, I didn't have to pay as much attention as I usually do--I trust Randy! I just took in all the sights and lived in the moment. I was so happy to be in New York. I closed my eyes and looked up toward the sky and the beaming sun. I saw the shadows of the trees dance on my eyelids. I took my hands off the handlebars and just pedaled (I know! It was so daring of me, but I took a risk and did it. It was exhilarating!)I breathed in and thought to myself how wonderful life is and how happy I am.

I was smiling throughout the whole bike trip. My mouth was so dry from grinning like a schmuck! I'm going to miss New York.

(oito dias mais!)

Minha Família Brasileira!

I'm super excited! Today I FINALLY received the long awaited email from Lilian explaining my living situation!!! I have a host family! In the beginning of the summer, I was worried that I wouldn't get a host family since Aly told me that it's difficult for Lilian (the Brazilian coordinator/my former PGSE teacher) to find host families and most likely I would be placed in an apartment nearby the university with other international students (wow, I'm going to be an international student!!) I had adjusted to the idea of living with the international students--I even was looking forward to it. But then a couple of days ago, Aly told me she'd met my host brother's girlfriend...which shocked me because I had discounted the idea that I was going to have a host family! But I dooooo!!!

So today as I was checking my email, my eyes jumped out of their eye sockets when I saw an email from Lilian with the subject line Bem-vinda ao Brasil! I immediately click on the email and it's a long email. I savor the Portuguese words. I think to myself, wow this is actually happening. Eu tenho uma família Brasileira! I have a Brazilian family! My host mother is a biologist; my host father is a lawyer. They have a son who is 27 and his girlfriend also lives in the house. The son is a pianist and the girlfriend is an English teacher (perfect!! I can ask her about grammar!) and a pianist as well. They have two pianos in the house, a backyard with a pool and a veranda...it sounds amazing! I wish I played the piano! Unfortunately, I have no musical talent.
They have two dogs--Wolf and Babica. Although I'm alergic to dog hair, the dogs can't enter the house so I'll be fine!

Afterwards, I tell my mom the information in Chinese: "the mom is a biologist and the dad is a lawyer". She looks at me weirdly and I realized that I called my host mom, "mom" because I don't know how to say host mom in Chinese, and I think my mom felt a little taken aback, maybe even hurt that I had acknowledged my host mom so quickly as "mom". I retract my words and simply say again "the wife is a biologist and the husband is a lawyer". And I moved on to describe the other details. I forgot how awkward it can be to have a host family--do you address them as "mom" and "dad" or by their first names? I remember during my first host stay in Costa Rica, I fluctuated between calling my host parents by their names and by "mama" and "papi". It was so strange. I think I'll stick to the first names...

Anyways, I couldn't really focus at work today because all I wanted to do was talk about my host family, Brazil and my career. My manager asked me today what I wanted to do with my degree and I responded "I have no idea. Maybe work for an NGO?" yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. but it's okay, cos I'm going to BRAZIL!! 12 more days!

I am also vaccinated against Yellow Fever! This is becoming more and more real as each day passes!

Since Xanga...

I remember starting my first blog on Xanga in middle school. I thought it was so cool that I could journal online. I was uninhibited--I wrote about boys, friends and school. It was my online journal. It was my Xanga--my first "cyber space"to write. Silly me, I didn't realize that it was public and that ANYONE could read it. One day, a friend of mine showed a guy who was really into me my blog. He was an awkward guy who had a nervous hop/walk and drooled in class because he stuck out his tongue while he wrote. Yeah, he had many idiosyncratic gestures. I was so embarrassed because my blog revealed my true feelings about him...I wrote things that I would have never said to him...it was awful. I was mortified. Ever since that experience, I have been careful about what I write and cautious not to offend anyone. So that's my first blogging horror experience.

This is my "adult" blog now. I can write about "mature" content and not have gossip spread like wildfire via the web.

Why am I blogging?
Since I'm going abroad to Brazil soon, I thought it would be really interesting to document and share my thoughts, emotions and life throughout this experience. I'm also considering blogging in Portuguese...but that is way intense. Perhaps when I arrive in Brazil...which is 18 days from today!