I noticed that all the things that I don't like about other people, I sometimes catch myself doing the same things or behaving in the same ways. And because I'm doing it--it's okay, because it's an exception. Then I catch myself doing it again...and I excuse myself another time. It's such a judgmental and hypocritical mentality. For example, I hate it when people are late, and I'm not exactly the most punctual person. So I would show up 5-10 minutes late and that's okay because I really needed those extra minutes. But when a friend is late, I get so irritated. I think, How could they be so inconsiderate of my time? Or I hate it when people gossip, and when I catch myself gossiping, I feel like such a douchebag.
This dissonance is very frustrating. I think back to a lecture that Sophie's mom gave while I was in Tucson about judgements. Judgements are ungrounded statements and assumptions that you make about others. They come from experiences and exposure to various environments. Judgements actually come from your own evaluation of yourself. So for example, I am not satisfied with my body and it's one of my biggest insecurities: how I look. And so naturally, the first thing I judge when I look at someone, especially a girl, is her body. Is she fat? Is she skinny? Is she muscular? How is she dressed? and the list can go on. It's easy to pick at other people's body flaws. And in some ways, it can even make you feel better about yourself. But honestly, what is the point? I'm evaluating her because I can't pick at myself all the time--that's really unfair. It's a very bad habit and ever since I've identified it, whenever I catch myself doing this evaluation, I stop. I simply stop. It's not fair for me to judge her personality based on how she dresses or takes care of her body. It's her prerogative. My judgements of her are more of a reflection about me and how I perceive her. In someone else's eyes, she could be perfect.
So, how do you stop yourself from judging others?
the twentysomething year old
- mosaicpieces
- New York, NY, United States
- What makes life so interesting are the risks you take and the people you meet. I've lived the majority of my life fearing the consequences of risks. Well, that's what the twenties are for! I am going to write about my trials and tribulations of being a twentysomething year old in this big world, trying to figure it all out. It's going to be a topsy turvy ride, but that's what being in your twenties is all about.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
i'm with you.
Avril Lavigne used to be one of my favorite singers when I was 12 years old. My favorite album is her very first, "Let Go". "Things I'll Never Say" and "I'm With You" were my two favorite songs on the album. So when I saw this at the MoMA, I just had to take a photo of it. No, this isn't a photo of a photo...the words were lit up and mounted on the window. I just loved this photo because of the juxtaposition of the light from the words and the drab concrete of the building behind it. I feel like I would see this on pinterest somewhere...
oh this is DSD #7: Go to the MoMA spontaneously. but seriously, I've lost count of how many DSD I've done. I've just been enjoying life and not really keeping track. It's been pretty busy with all these goals I set for myself. Like this week, I'm going to watch the Australian Ballet tomorrow, drinks with Brazilian friend I met last week, dinner date with Midd kid on Wednesday, NY Cares Volunteer Orientation on Thursday and girl's night out with Jung Mi and Liz on Friday! My whole week is packed and I don't even have time to go to the gym unless I go early in the morning. It's great being busy, busy!
Monday, June 04, 2012
A year in Review
I've been wanting to write this post for some time now and I'm finally getting around to it now! It has been a little over a year since I've graduated from college. I remember all those nights I'd stayed up wondering "where will I be a year from now?" I remember telling everyone I could not see where I'd be a year from now. And here I am, a year older, slightly less naive and still as ambitious as ever.
A year ago today, I would have been talking to Brenna on the phone, planning for our big project in Brazil. It was still slight inconceivable that we'd received 3 grants from Midd to carry out our project. But after months of grant writing and reaching out to NGOs, we'd somehow managed to put together this amazing project.
Late June-August: Implementing The World Through Youth's Eyes. It was all an incredibly humbling experience. I'm not going to lie, it was hard and I often time didn't live enough in the present to enjoy it because I was so concerned about what I was going to do after the project, when I'd returned home and Brenna would finish her last semester at Midd. I regret not appreciating that time more. Towards the end, I was able to live more fully and push aside all those fears and concerns. I also learned what a huge challenge it is to work with kids...especially in another language!
September-December: September was a hard month. It was spent writing CVs and applying to jobs. and never hearing back...not even a "No thank you". Lisa was also in a similar rut, waiting to hear the final confirmation for her job. We took up jobs at a startup retail fashion store called CWonder. It felt good to be employed and actually help launch a store. My hard work and dedication was noticed by my bosses and I quickly gained the trust and respect of my supervisors. I met huge celebrities like Brooke Shields, Bethenny Frankel and Kelly Ripa. I was blogged about by Brazilian fashion bloggers. I was a personal shopper for Kelly Rutherford! I became the queen of the jewelry department even though I don't wear jewelry often. Through experience, I also saw the consequences of favoritism in the work place and while I benefited from being a good employee--other good employees were treated disrespectfully simply because our bosses didn't particularly care for them. Fashion is a hard business and you are always judged. I would get comments like, "Christina--you look so much better with make-up!" How is that supposed to not affect my self-esteem? So I adopted a daily make-up routine, which when I was at Midd, swore never to do because natural beauty is the best! But then I realized the importance of looking good in NYC...so that "no make-up rule" went out the window.
December: I decided to buy everyone in my family Christmas presents because I was so grateful for having them in my life. It has been a long time since I've been incorporated into my family's routine and finally, I felt like we were gelling. My parents weren't on my ass about moving on in my life and just happy to have me home.
Because of Steven, I got to meet the delightful Mayor Bloomberg!
December was also the end of 2011. A year of incredible growth, transition and self-discovery. I had also discovered my renewed interest in women's entrepreneurship and got an internship at The Story Exchange, a nonprofit dedicated to empowering women entrepreneurs.
January-March.: I worked part-time at CWonder and interned at The Story Exchange. January was one of the darkest months for me...I don't even quite remember it. I was very anti-social and so embarrassed to say what I was doing to others. It was a period of incredible shame because I was not where I wanted to be in life. I also booked my tickets to see Sophie in Arizona because I needed to get out of New York.
By the end of February, on the very day when I would tell my internship that I would only continue through to March instead of June--my boss calls me into her office and offers me a full-time position. This blows my mind. I didn't even know she was offering me a job until the end of the conversation when we were talking about salary. I take a couple of days to digest this and accept her offer. I also tell her that I'll be gone for two weeks in March because I'm going to visit my best friend in Tucson.
March-April: TWO WEEKS IN TUCSON!! Even though I somehow got very sick and was struck with major allergies, I had a fantastic time being with Sophie and her loving family. We were constantly busy and for the first time, I knew what being super busy meant in the context of Sophie's life. I came to see a different side of her--the daughter, sister and friend that she is to her community in Tucson. It was something very special and I'm so glad that she let me into her life in this capacity. I don't think I've ever allowed anyone to be so close to me and my family. We road tripped to the Grand Canyon and drove across Arizona. I wish so badly I could have driven...this is my motivation for getting my driver's license--I felt so helpless when Sophie had been driving for 10-12 hours and we were so lost and an hour away from Tucson. I actually drove for the very first time in a Tucson mall parking lot with Sophie and Eduardo, Sophie's Chilean friend. I had a great time in Tucson and it was just the recharge I needed in my life.
April-May: These were the most socially charged months of my life so far this year! Every weekend in April, I was out at a birthday party or some social event. It was a lot of fun. My parents became so chill with my curfew. I barely had time to relax and spend some alone time. I realize how much I love and value my alone time. And I also realize that I do have friends in the city...so even though I may feel lonely at times, it's okay--I have a lot of people who do care about me, near and far. I'd like to claim that I am an anti-social person, but quite honestly, I'm not. I think it has to do with my insecurities with friends and betrayal from my old friends that I feel this guard when I make new friends. I just gotta be myself and people will either like me or not. I'm not going to bend over backwards to please others any more. I'll always at least be very polite and cordial.
And now it's June 2012. It's already June.
When Spring turns into Summer.
When the booty shorts come out of the closet and manicured (and un-manicured) toes peep out from sandals.
When the sun sets at 8pm and you'll wanna stay out till 4am.
Summer loves and ice cream go together like pb&j.
There's always something about the summertime that makes people happier. It's probably the overdosage of sun in our lives.
This summer I'm set out to have the best summer in NYC. More details to come about that. But it's just going to be about doing lots of activities and having fun.
In a couple of weeks, I'll turn 23. Already, just when I was comfortable with saying that I'm 22. And I'll wonder as I do every year, where will I be a year from now?
A year ago today, I would have been talking to Brenna on the phone, planning for our big project in Brazil. It was still slight inconceivable that we'd received 3 grants from Midd to carry out our project. But after months of grant writing and reaching out to NGOs, we'd somehow managed to put together this amazing project.
Late June-August: Implementing The World Through Youth's Eyes. It was all an incredibly humbling experience. I'm not going to lie, it was hard and I often time didn't live enough in the present to enjoy it because I was so concerned about what I was going to do after the project, when I'd returned home and Brenna would finish her last semester at Midd. I regret not appreciating that time more. Towards the end, I was able to live more fully and push aside all those fears and concerns. I also learned what a huge challenge it is to work with kids...especially in another language!
September-December: September was a hard month. It was spent writing CVs and applying to jobs. and never hearing back...not even a "No thank you". Lisa was also in a similar rut, waiting to hear the final confirmation for her job. We took up jobs at a startup retail fashion store called CWonder. It felt good to be employed and actually help launch a store. My hard work and dedication was noticed by my bosses and I quickly gained the trust and respect of my supervisors. I met huge celebrities like Brooke Shields, Bethenny Frankel and Kelly Ripa. I was blogged about by Brazilian fashion bloggers. I was a personal shopper for Kelly Rutherford! I became the queen of the jewelry department even though I don't wear jewelry often. Through experience, I also saw the consequences of favoritism in the work place and while I benefited from being a good employee--other good employees were treated disrespectfully simply because our bosses didn't particularly care for them. Fashion is a hard business and you are always judged. I would get comments like, "Christina--you look so much better with make-up!" How is that supposed to not affect my self-esteem? So I adopted a daily make-up routine, which when I was at Midd, swore never to do because natural beauty is the best! But then I realized the importance of looking good in NYC...so that "no make-up rule" went out the window.
December: I decided to buy everyone in my family Christmas presents because I was so grateful for having them in my life. It has been a long time since I've been incorporated into my family's routine and finally, I felt like we were gelling. My parents weren't on my ass about moving on in my life and just happy to have me home.
Because of Steven, I got to meet the delightful Mayor Bloomberg!
December was also the end of 2011. A year of incredible growth, transition and self-discovery. I had also discovered my renewed interest in women's entrepreneurship and got an internship at The Story Exchange, a nonprofit dedicated to empowering women entrepreneurs.
January-March.: I worked part-time at CWonder and interned at The Story Exchange. January was one of the darkest months for me...I don't even quite remember it. I was very anti-social and so embarrassed to say what I was doing to others. It was a period of incredible shame because I was not where I wanted to be in life. I also booked my tickets to see Sophie in Arizona because I needed to get out of New York.
By the end of February, on the very day when I would tell my internship that I would only continue through to March instead of June--my boss calls me into her office and offers me a full-time position. This blows my mind. I didn't even know she was offering me a job until the end of the conversation when we were talking about salary. I take a couple of days to digest this and accept her offer. I also tell her that I'll be gone for two weeks in March because I'm going to visit my best friend in Tucson.
March-April: TWO WEEKS IN TUCSON!! Even though I somehow got very sick and was struck with major allergies, I had a fantastic time being with Sophie and her loving family. We were constantly busy and for the first time, I knew what being super busy meant in the context of Sophie's life. I came to see a different side of her--the daughter, sister and friend that she is to her community in Tucson. It was something very special and I'm so glad that she let me into her life in this capacity. I don't think I've ever allowed anyone to be so close to me and my family. We road tripped to the Grand Canyon and drove across Arizona. I wish so badly I could have driven...this is my motivation for getting my driver's license--I felt so helpless when Sophie had been driving for 10-12 hours and we were so lost and an hour away from Tucson. I actually drove for the very first time in a Tucson mall parking lot with Sophie and Eduardo, Sophie's Chilean friend. I had a great time in Tucson and it was just the recharge I needed in my life.
April-May: These were the most socially charged months of my life so far this year! Every weekend in April, I was out at a birthday party or some social event. It was a lot of fun. My parents became so chill with my curfew. I barely had time to relax and spend some alone time. I realize how much I love and value my alone time. And I also realize that I do have friends in the city...so even though I may feel lonely at times, it's okay--I have a lot of people who do care about me, near and far. I'd like to claim that I am an anti-social person, but quite honestly, I'm not. I think it has to do with my insecurities with friends and betrayal from my old friends that I feel this guard when I make new friends. I just gotta be myself and people will either like me or not. I'm not going to bend over backwards to please others any more. I'll always at least be very polite and cordial.
And now it's June 2012. It's already June.
When Spring turns into Summer.
When the booty shorts come out of the closet and manicured (and un-manicured) toes peep out from sandals.
When the sun sets at 8pm and you'll wanna stay out till 4am.
Summer loves and ice cream go together like pb&j.
There's always something about the summertime that makes people happier. It's probably the overdosage of sun in our lives.
This summer I'm set out to have the best summer in NYC. More details to come about that. But it's just going to be about doing lots of activities and having fun.
In a couple of weeks, I'll turn 23. Already, just when I was comfortable with saying that I'm 22. And I'll wonder as I do every year, where will I be a year from now?
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