Costa da Lagoa

This past weekend was pretty tranquila! On Friday, I went to Floripa Shopping with Michel and Natalie and we ate Chinese food!!! Yeah, it was my first Chinese meal in Brasil! It wasn't too bad, but it did leave me craving for my mom's food! On Saturday, I was invited to Claúdia's house to have mandioca. It's kind of like a potato, but not...and the way she made it was like a puree...it was good. Solomon (from Ghana) brought this spicy sauce which was so delicious with the mandioca. On Sunday, I did my first hike in Floripa! (first legit hike that is...I mean I also hiked barefoot nearby praia joaquina--painful!) I went with Kine (from Norway) and Sarah (from Canada) and we hiked nearby the coast of Lagoa...and it was so muddy. I fell (of course I would fall...) and I found a bug in my sandwich. but it was all so natural and beautiful. It was so worth it. I thought a lot about life--making mistakes--whether mistakes exist or not; making wrong decisions and etc. But also, I was just concentrating a lot on trying not to fall.






Muddy shoes!!

e ela caiu.

I was on my way to the Shopping Iguatemi to do some grocery shopping when I decided to make a detour and stop in the library lab to write, reflect and perhaps even feel better. This week has been hard. It is reminiscent of my first week here...lonely, tiring and disorganized. I could have gone to Curitiba with Patriki and all of the students that live in his building, but I decided against that because I just wasnt in the mood to travel. I could have also gone to Foz de Iguaçu with Fishman and other foreigners but what's the point when I'll be going in October with Lilian and besides midd will be paying for it...

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I really don't understand myself. I want to go out, meet new people and have fun but it feels like something is inhibiting me from doing this. I want to make more brazilian friends and improve my portuguese. I want to be happy. But somehow this week, all I want to do is listen to American music, watch the Simpsons and read. I feel so anti-social. I feel so incapable of making new friends. I feel so bitter about it all. I miss my friends. I miss my family. and geezus christ, I am holding back tears as I'm typing this...so pathetic. I don't know why I am having such a hard time. I'm so tired of reaching out to people and not receiving anything back. I just want somebody to ask me if I'm okay and to see how I'm doing. I'm kind of sad...(I think my host mom suspects this...as I was leaving the house she asked me if I was okay and had a worried look on her face...but who knows?) I don't get sad very easily, which is why I don't know how to deal with this right now...besides writing.

Yesterday I went for a jog, hoping that it was just the lack of exercise that was effin' up my body, but I only ended up with a swollen foot...I really have no idea why. I felt good during the jog and so afterwards, I attempted to hang out last night with Sarah and some friends of hers, but that just didnt work out.

Okay, I never really broadcast my feelings like this, so I'm just going to submit this post before I change my mind.