Make-up does wonders

When I was a tween, I was so excited to become a teenager and start wearing make-up. But when I became a teenager, I never broke out in acne or felt the pressure to use make-up. Honestly, I didn't even know how to use anything. YouTube didn't exist yet. I don't have any female cousins. And there were way too many products for me to decipher. To this day, I still don't know the function of half the products on the market. I am very grateful to have pretty good skin. Even though as a tween, I couldn't wait to get my first breakout because I felt it was all a part of the maturing process. It was like a rite of passage to become a teenager. Now I am so glad to have never had breakouts.

So when I watched this video (click here), I could not help but feel this girl's pain and admire her bravery and courageousness to film this video. She really put herself in a vulnerable position by posting this on YouTube. I think a lot of women feel insecure without their beauty products. I went into work one day and I was running late so I had no time to do my make-up. I mentioned that to one of my co-workers and she said, "really, I couldn't tell you didn't have make-up on!"  I have only been using make-up on a daily basis for the past year. And now that I have become used to it, I know what women mean when they say, "I feel so naked without make-up!" And I don't even use that much make-up. But when I don't have it on, I just automatically feel "uglier". I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. I just wonder when this switch in mentality happened--I never used to be so dependent on make-up for a confident boost, but now I do. I think about my make-up a lot--whether it's smeared or needs to be re-touched...it's a lot of maintenance to be pretty these days. I miss those carefree days where I just didn't need make-up.

The make-up industry is a $10 billion dollar industry. And it does not seem to be on the decline, even in a recession economy...women cannot live without their products. In this video tutorial, the girl uses 8 products and the brands that she uses are pretty high end. The Make Up Forever foundation costs $40 for 1 oz. For $40, I can go to D.C. and back on megabus. Or a roundtrip bus ticket to Boston! Kinda crazy, right!?

So anyway, this video proves that make-up truly does wonders to enhance a person's outer beauty. I resisted using make-up for the longest time because I didn't feel the need to wear make-up. I've always been more on the tomboy side. But last year, I decided that applying make-up is an important life skill for me as a woman. So I learned, thanks to YouTube! Now I blush and feel a teeny bit proud whenever anybody tells me that they like my make-up because it's something I'm still getting used to.

let's talk about dating.

Recently, I tried my hand at matchmaking. A good guy friend of mine mentioned that he found one of my co-workers very attractive...so I thought it would be great to match the two of them together since I saw qualities in them that would be complementary to each other. After much deliberation and teasing, my guy friend mustered up the courage to ask her out to a movie. I learned that I probably won't make a career out of matchmaking because it is not as easy as it looks. I'll leave it to match.com. and okcupid.com. Through this process, it is really interesting to be the objective person observing the courtship because I've really learned a lot about the human condition.

1. People want to date. Even if he/she says that he/she is happy being single, there is still a small part himself/herself that wants to be involved with someone. 'Involved' could mean anything from hooking-up to dating. Ultimately, we as humans are social creatures...and most of us don't want to be lonely. Dating is, for the most part, a fun exchange. Did he text you?, Well how did you respond?, What are you going to wear on your first date!!  So all the flirting, texting, sexual innuendos that are part of the dating process builds up your "dating persona". You have to know how to talk the talk and make the moves. People want to date! It's heart racing fun!

2. People get nervous. And it's so much fun to watch when you have nothing to lose!! I can actually see my friend's brain go into overload as he deliberates the wording of a text message! I can read the thoughtfulness in his attempt to be chill and reserved yet interested. I think it is just so interesting to observe how other people get nervous. It offers insight for me when I get nervous. Really, it's nbd!

3. People love to text. In this day and age, texting is the preferred method of communication. Texts can be very ambiguous and easily misinterpreted. So when a guy actually calls instead of text to ask a woman out on a date, I really admire that. It cuts out all of the confusion, text-time analysis by both parties and the "how should I phrase this?" angst. However, if one party is not interested, this could also make for an awkward exchange...or a string of ignored phone calls...

Anyway, on to my second point, what is wrong with being single?

For some reason, lately I've been asked several times whether or not I have a boyfriend. And I find myself feeling embarrassed saying, "No I'm not seeing anyone right now" or "Nope, I'm single" or "There's no one in the picture right now...". It's like admitting that I have some sort of defect. I'm single...and have been this way for a year and a half now! Sometimes I get the pity look and then this response, "aww you are such a nice girl, I'm sure you'll find somebody". verbatim. THEN I feel the need to justify why I'm single. "I'm really  busy at work" or "I'm just working on myself right now and I'm not looking for anyone" or "You know, timing hasn't been on my side". There really should be no shame to say "I'm single" period. You don't have to provide a background story for why you are single. I find the justifications disempowering, especially since I am happy being single. Sure there are days where I'd love to have a boyfriend to go to the movies or to go out dancing. But most days--like 99% of the time, I am busy trying to figure myself out. I can't really factor another human into my life right now. Yes I must admit it, I get lonely--but that's why I have a great network of friends. When I'm feeling down or alone, a simple phone call to a good friend will make me feel warm again. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely guilty of offering justifications as to why I am single too. But now that I am more conscious about my justifications, I will simply say it like it is: I'm not interested in dating.  I spend 0% of my time actively pursuing guys and I mostly spend my time with friends and family or at work. I realize that society places an emphasis on achieving "couplehood" and marriage. Being part of a couple is a very validating status in our society and it is reinforced through Hollywood (any Katherine Heigl movie) and reality TV shows (Bachelor & Bachelorette series). Really, it's okay to be single--you don't have to whisper it or justify why. Mostly, dating is all about chemistry, timing and luck. And those are elements that you just cannot control.

One more story to share--at work, one of my co-workers who is just the sweetest, he always says to me, "Christina you are such a catch! Whoever you end up with will be a lucky guy". Whenever he tells me this, I just brush it off and blush a little inside. Thinking about it now, it is very affirming to hear that because being the independent person I am, I'm not looking to "complete" anyone or "fulfill the idea of the dream girl". I am looking for companionship--intellectually, emotionally and physically. I'm not going to lie, in the past, I've "fluffed up my personality" to make guys more attracted to me but I never felt genuine and those "relationships" never lasted long. I'd rather be single than in a relationship where I'm pretending to be someone else. I recently spoke to my best friend from college and she was just in the healthiest relationship she's ever been in. According to her, communication of each partner's needs is a key component to building a strong relationship. Be honest and upfront. Ultimately, they were two people who understood, respected and loved each other openly. I'm not sure what that looks like for me or how that feels but I'm looking forward to someday having that too.

In the meantime, I am single and proud of it.

don't stop believing.

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/9399948@N05/

Life post-grad has been nothing but a series of questions, dazed looks and a wave of confusion, day in and day out. I change my mind at least twenty times a day about my career. I am like a frog, jumping from one idea to the next. I am ambitious and passionate...but that isn't enough. The only thing that makes sense to me thus far is entrepreneurship. At my internship today, I was researching about social entrepreneurs under the age of 24. I was very impressed at some of these young teens who have extraordinary ideas and strong follow through. One girl, Eden Full, 19, has created a solar panel that channels solar energy to electricity. She has carried out her project in Kenya, powering a town! It is incredible! Another girl, Laura Deming who is just 17 is working on extending the human lifespan to 200 years old using biotechnology. RIDICULOUS!! They are so talented and inspiring. I left my internship very satiated in inspiration and eager to change the world in my own way. It seems like every great idea has already been put to action. I remember my very first business, Toorific tote bags, was a huge hit! I came up with the 3-in-1 tote bag when I was 16! Now that smaller zip tote bag is everywhere in stores--from bloomingdale's to Whole Foods...that could have been my brand! I was too young and inexperienced to really put anything into action. But now, I am old enough to seek resources, create a business plan and start a business!

I try to convince myself out of it--I weigh all my options...but nothing seems to settle right with me. I may not know what my business will be or how it will look like...but I know that entrepreneurship is something I want to pursue right now. I'm constantly thinking of the "next big thing". And yes, this is an extremely difficult time for me right now because I have never felt so lost and unsure of myself, but my new motto is: go big or go home. I'm young and I have a supportive family. It feels like now or never. Let me take this risk and believe in myself. Entrepreneurship is not easy, but it sure is exciting...and I'm ready for the ride.

Photos of the day: The Central Park Ducks!

Today I decided to take a stroll through Central Park and take photos. I haven't been taking photos ever since I've been back to NYC...and I lovee photography so I thought it was about time to get back into it!

In my winding journey through Central Park, I stumbled upon a pond filled with beautiful ducks!! I could not resist taking a thousand photos of them! They have the most beautiful features that I've ever seen!! The vibrant colors really brightened my day. Check it out!

The gang of ducks! 

The elegant duck.

The wood duck, which is the rare breed in Central Park! 

Look at how orange their feet are! 

This little discovery totally made my day! It was so nice to reconnect with nature for just a little bit. 

The Importance of Gratitude

I have been watching a lot of motivational videos both for pleasure and for my internship. And the one thing that  I've been wanting to exercise is the act of being grateful for what I have and where I am. I take my situation for granted--I live at home with my parents, which means that I am really well taken care of at home. Housing, food and laundry--all taken care of! Yet what do I do about this situation? I complain and express how limiting it is to be at home. I only focus on the negative side because things in my life aren't in the best shape. Thus I fail to appreciate how lucky I've got it. I have been wanting to get to know my family ever since I've returned from my experience abroad. So this is my opportunity to get to know my family, especially my dear mom. I want to learn more about my family history and understand my parents better. Despite the language barrier, I am going to have more conversations with my parents. It is definitely a priority on my 2012 goal list.

So I am going to write three things I am grateful for every day to keep myself grounded and positive about the situation that I am currently in.

1) I am grateful for the food that I have access to. I just read about the famine in the horn of Africa and I felt so guilty after reading the article because I have not been appreciative of the food that I eat. I have always had a troubling relationship with food and reading about the food shortage really put things in perspective for me. I am blessed to be able to eat everything from McDonald's to healthy salads. I am grateful for my mom's delicious food every night.

2) I am grateful for the gym. I have been going to the gym for two months now and it has made me a happier person. I am so lucky to be able to afford a decent gym in Soho, NYC. I ought not to bitch and complain about going there because it really is a privilege.

3) I am grateful to have a cell phone. Ever since I have been living in NYC, I have been embarrassed about my cell phone...because I do not own a smartphone. I have a cell phone with a pop-out keyboard. I LOVED it when I first bought it, but now I am even ashamed to give out my number because I have to take it out of my pocket and reveal that TA-DA, I have one of those "ancient" phones where you can't check your email or download apps. Well, my sole purpose of having a cell phone is to be able to call and text. And my phone is handy dandy in doing that. But honestly, it feels like everyone is expected to have a smartphone and if you don't, you're branded as a loser. My phone may not be "smart" but it never runs out of batteries when you need it the most.

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So, there you have it. Three things, every day...tiny steps to building a healthy, positive outlook on life.

In addition to this, I am working on a visualization book where I am going to make a book of goals for myself. Some will be long term life goals, while others will be 2012 oriented goals. I'll take photos once I'm done. 2012 will be a better year...I just know it!