dear younger self,

Dear younger self,

I wish you'd realized earlier on that you should stop fretting over the small things in life. Go out and have fun more often. Say irrational things and then laugh at yourself for thinking it in the first place. Dare to say "you're so beautiful" when someone sneezes. Let your hair down and don't be afraid to look so feminine. Or sexy. Show some cleavage every now and then--you know you got it! Admit that you don't read the New York Times every day and the fact that you have no idea where Comoros is located. Admit that you don't know old rock bands from the 60s, 70s, or the 80s...except for Queen. Bohemian Rhapsody is the shit! And admit that you love watching hours of mindless t.v. even though you know it is a gigantic waste of time. You cannot please everyone. You have to defend your own boundaries. Speaking Portuguese makes you feel alive, so invest more time into studying it. Speaking Chinese makes you feel like shit--cos you can't speak it so well...so start speaking more with your family! Don't compare yourself to others--it will only depress you even more. 

Love yourself more. Trust your instincts, they know a thing or two when you have disobeyed in the past. Love yourself even more, despite your shortcomings and mistakes; you are human. Use your time wisely, even though we both know how you like to spend it on trivial things. Focus more on your goals. Don't lose sight of them because it's easy for you to convince yourself out of things that are good for you. Your nonsensical rationale never ceases to amaze me. This is why you need to build up stronger self-discipline.

People will enter your life. People will leave it. You cannot be friends with everyone and not everyone will want to be friends with you...it's one of those facts of life. The people who stay in your life are the ones who matter. And the ones who leave, just wish the best for them in their life endeavors and hope one day your paths may cross again.  Time heals if you let it. Forgive yourself for lost friendships. Forgive yourself for lost loves. 

Don't give up on love, even though you may become a cynic. Everything happens for a reason and love will come with time. Learn to love yourself first, and the rest will follow. Learn to trust yourself and the universe will guide you. Love your life and your body because this is the one you were blessed with. 

Keep writing and documenting your life--you know your memory will fade, but these words will stay. And when you read them again, they will breathe energy back into you. 

Love more and live presently. 

Love,

Christina